Lenten Journey – Holy Week

Are you ready to celebrate the passion of our Lord?

The focus of this reflection is going to be love. I choose this topic because last week I was hit with several 2x4's from God. He told me to wake up and realize how much he loved me. He sent several people into my life in special ways to show me his love. By the end of the week I had had enough and I woke up to the realization that God really loves me and he shows that love through other people in my life.

I know we talked about love back in week 3 when I reflected on relationships. But this time we will go deeper and in a different direction. I hope that this reflection will help you to make this week a very special, prayerful time. Let us together close out this Lenten season and celebrate the Easter Triduum with increased fervor for living our personal call to be apostles for Christ.

How many of us struggle through each day just trying to survive?

I do! I struggle each day to do all the things I do. All of us have struggles. We all have issues and have to learn to deal with difficulties but do we define ourselves by our struggles or do we define ourselves by the love Christ has shared with us and asks us to share with others?

Over the last few years I have struggled with cancer; several rounds of chemotherapy, a bone marrow transplant, months in isolation, rejection issues with the new immune system, and drugs too numerous to mention. Throughout this whole ordeal God has provided me a super network of support, many prayers, and lots and lots of love, through friends and family. People I don't even know have helped out. People have stormed heaven with prayers for me. And what have I done? Over time I have developed an attitude of survival. A feeling that each day was going to be a struggle and an attitude that I would have to endure through it and do whatever was necessary to survive each and every day. In the process I have hardened my heart and focused on myself and my needs. I have lost touch with the world and isolated myself.

I must admit there were a few days in there where I felt good and thought that things were progressing well. But for the most part life became a drudgery. I went through the motions of daily life but I had forgotten how to live. I put blinders on and saw things from a skewed perspective. I had really forgotten how wonderful life was and how much joy there was to be had on earth. I thought about myself and my difficulties. At times I even wondered why I was still living. Others I knew had passed away from the same cancer and treatments that I received. I often asked God why. Why am I still here on Earth? What do you want from me? Why did this other person die but I lived?

One of the reasons I started writing this blog was to share my story and to share Jesus with others. I felt called by God to tell people and encourage them to grow in their own journey with Christ. I figured most people just went through the motions of life and didn't realize that things could change so very quickly. One day I was a working man with a family to support and feed and I was running my own business. The next moment I was laying in a hospital bed, receiving the strongest chemo drugs they could lethal give to me and wondering if I would live to see another day. Things can change so quickly. I figured that if I could help others to grow in their own faith life maybe it would help me feel better about my own life and where I was at on my journey.

While I was encouraging others to pray and grow closer to God through my blog, I was drifting in the wind in my own faith life. My journey was dark and I often felt alone. In reality I was never alone, but as I said earlier I had blinders on and could not see the whole picture. I was too focused on myself and my difficulties.

Through different events in the last few weeks I feel that God has woken me up. No longer is this just another blog post I'm writing, this is my story, this is my journey. Writing this blog has become therapy. As I write this I am on my own journey and I am searching for answers in my life as well. I am the person benefiting most from this process of trying to help others. I started this blog as a service to you but now I realize that God is leading me on a special journey through this blog. I am most appreciative to all of you for your encouragement in this journey. Your responses and prayers have helped lead me onward on my journey even when the writing was difficult. I thought I was writing this for you but it's really for me. Thank You for listening and following me on my journey!

Let's get back to Holy week.

On Palm Sunday Pope Francis sent out this tweet:

“How beautiful it is to stand before the crucifix,

simply to be under the Lord's gaze, so full of love.”

Last week I spent a day with family at the Shrine of Christ's Passion in St. John, Indiana. We had a group of 3 adults and 5 children with us. We paused at each station and reflected on the images. We spent about 2 hours in contemplation and prayer with the life size images of Jesus on the road to Calvary. When we arrived at the station where Jesus hung on the cross we all paused in silence and spent about 10 minutes in personal reflection just looking at Jesus. It was a very special moment for me and I think for all of us.

Something else quite wonderful happened to us while we were at the shrine. At each station I asked people to mention someone in their life that needed prayers. Someone that we could spiritually bring with us on our journey with Christ that day. We were somewhere in the middle of the journey and my wife took a turn and mentioned that we should bring my cousin Paul Scull and his family with us on our journey. If you haven't heard or seen my facebook posts; my cousin Paul had been missing for 2 ½ weeks. He had left his home and no one new where he was. Search teams were called in and were searching for about a week and no trace had been found. The search was now more limited and only a few people remained to look for him. 

Within about 30 seconds of us leaving this station my cell phone rang. There are signs at the shrine not to be on the phone and to respect the other visitors so I didn't answer. It rang again 2 more times over the next 10 minutes. It was then I decided I should check my phone and see who was calling. I took a small walk off the prayer trail and into a parking lot where I could check on my phone. The first call was from my mom and the others were from work. I called my mom back first.

My cousin Paul had been found. He was dead. He was found in a field just on the outskirts of town. God spoke to me in that moment. This day at the shrine is not for you it is for him.We needed to be at the shrine to pray for him. He could have been found on any day, but it just happened to be on this day and I just happened to get the phone call right after we prayed for him. I don't believe in coincidences, God always has a plan.

In the days since I have reflected on this moment. God is calling out to me to unite my own sufferings to those of Christ and to offer them up for others. It's not just about me. The sufferings and difficulties I face can be offered up for others in prayer. I think I kind of knew this all along but I never really understood it and never put it into practice. I don't just suffer all by myself. I can offer up my prayers and my difficulties for others. Maybe I am alive so I can help others. Pow! Another 2x4 to the head. God says to me “wake up you sleepy head, you've got things to do for me.”

Let's go back to what Pope Francis had to say about the crucifix. To “be under the Lord's gaze, so full of love.” In simple terms the cross can be an empty symbol by itself. We must always remember that it is Christ who hung upon this cruel means of torture. Without Christ the cross is just a couple pieces of wood but with Christ it is the means of our salvation. It is the ultimate sign of God's love for all humanity. He actually hung on the cross for people he knew would not accept him and his love. Think of the unrepentant thief and how he was still defiant even while hanging on the a cross. And Jesus gave his life for him and just as well as the other thief who repented and asked Jesus for mercy.

Be sure this week to spend some time with a crucifix. Not just a cross but a crucifix. God became man to die for us. This is his God in his glory. This is the greatest moment in the history of the world. Get a crucifix or at the very least a picture of one. Hold it. Touch it. Gaze upon it. Question it. Ponder it. Kiss it. Ask God about it. Just sit with it. Look at Jesus in his glory. Look at his pierced hands and feet. Contemplate his love for you. Then let Jesus look back at you. Let him gaze into your eyes. Allow him to see into your heart and your life. Open up yourself and allow Jesus in all his glory into your life.

Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life

for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you

should go and bear fruit...This I command you, to love one another.

John 15: 13-14,16a,17

At church on Sunday we celebrated Palm Sunday. Jesus's triumphant entry into Jerusalem. While everyone was celebrating Jesus's entry into the holy city no one could possibly imagine all the things that would happen there in just a few days. Jesus knew that he was entering into his passion. He had told the apostles in advance what would happen. But they followed him blindly not understanding the depth of love that Jesus was about to show them.

How could they be expected to understand. They, like us, were just humans. They followed this man that claimed he was God. There were even times that they really believed that he was God. They had seen many healings and miracles. They had just witnessed the miracle of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. He had raised a man who was dead 4 days. He was now entering into the city of Jerusalem to great shouts of joy and triumph. Was it the time for the messiah to show himself to the world?

We have a special benefit in pondering these Holy week mysteries; we know how the story turns out. We know about the resurrection. But in your reflections this week try to imagine being alive in Jesus's time before the resurrection and the gift of the Holy Spirit. Imagine living these stories out in real time. Imagine actually being there in Jerusalem. Again I turn to something Pope Francis recently said: (this comes from his homily on Palm Sunday, I have edited it for brevity, the full text can be found at this link) http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/homilies/2014/documents/papa-francesco_20140413_omelia-palme.html )

Who am I? Who am I, before my Lord? Who am I, before Jesus who enters Jerusalem amid the enthusiasm of the crowd? Am I ready to express my joy, to praise him? Or do I stand back? Who am I, before the suffering Jesus?

We have also heard another name: Judas. Thirty pieces of silver. Am I like Judas? We have heard other names too: the disciples who understand nothing, who fell asleep while the Lord was suffering. Has my life fallen asleep? Or am I like the disciples, who did not realize what it was to betray Jesus? Or like that other disciple, who wanted to settle everything with a sword?

Am I like Pilate? When I see that the situation is difficult, do I wash my hands and dodge my responsibility, allowing people to be condemned – or condemning them myself?

Am I like that crowd which was not sure whether they were at a religious meeting, a trial or a circus, and then chose Barabbas? For them it was all the same: it was more entertaining to humiliate Jesus.

Am I like the Cyrenean, who was returning from work, weary, yet was good enough to help the Lord carry his cross?

Am I like those who walked by the cross and mocked Jesus: “He was so courageous! Let him come down from the cross and then we will believe in him!”. Mocking Jesus….

Am I like those fearless women, and like the mother of Jesus, who were there, and who suffered in silence?

Am I like Joseph, the hidden disciple, who lovingly carries the body of Jesus to give it burial?

Where is my heart? Which of these persons am I like? May this question remain with us throughout the entire week.

Are you going to walk through this week with blinders on?

Are you going to go through the motions or are you going to live the passion with our Lord?

Open your eyes and your heart. Love is surrounding you. Take the time this week to experience God's love for you in a special way. Will you be a disciple who tries to walk with Jesus, you may even fail in the moment of trial only to rise again with him after the resurrection and carry on his mission? Will you just be a passerby who is curious and watches the events but is not open to a change of heart and purpose? Will this Easter be about life and death or about bunnies and jelly beans?

God has and does continue to show us his love. Are you open to see him working in your life? How has the love of God changed your life and does it continue to challenge you each day?

We still have a few days of lent left to help us prepare for our Easter celebrations. Let us look at a few more ways we can practice prayer, fasting, and alms giving. Let us proceed with joy in our hearts and finish off our Lenten journey with a fantastic finish. Let us pick up our crosses and carry them with love. Let us imitate Jesus.

Fasting

This week we have a great opportunity to intensify our fasting and/or try again if we have failed. Remember we are seeking spiritual progress not spiritual perfection. It may have been a very difficult 35 day journey to get here and maybe, like me, you have not completed your fast as you hoped. There is still time and only a few more days to go. You can finish strong. Choose something that will bear fruit in your life and do it.

Here are a few suggestions for your fast this week:

Fast from all entertainment that is not of a religious tone. Do it for a day or try for the whole week. Maybe if you turn off the TV you will have time to go to a special holy week service/mass.

Fast from the radio/cds in your car. Spend the commute in prayer or in silence. It's just for a day or two.

Fast from your daily coffee, sweet, or snack. Give it up for the week. Just think how wonderful it will be at Easter when you have it again.

Try a bread and water fast for Good Friday. In my healthier days before cancer I would try bread and water fasts on Fridays until 3 pm. Then I would pray something special and remember Christ's passion. I couldn't wait for supper but it was a great way to recall and remember Jesus's great gift of love. Soon I hope to be well enough that I can try again.

Fast from complaining. This may be the most difficult of all of my suggestions. During some of my more difficult days I had lost my ability to taste food. Everything was difficult to eat and swallow. Having dinner was a painful experience. After awhile my wife made me aware of my complaining and general attitude at mealtime. It was becoming a problem because my daughter had heard me complain and fuss enough that she thought it was just what you did at dinner. She was complaining at every meal. Can you imagine the frustration of my loving wife when all she received for her tireless efforts to try and feed us nutritious and tasty food was complaints? I'm so glad she didn't just walk out on us, she is a very special woman indeed!

Fast from facebook or the internet. I know people who are regular Facebook users who chose to fast from it for the whole of lent.

Fast from work when you are not at work. This may be hard for some people but turn off that smartphone and really spend an evening or two with your family.

Be sure to fill your time with extra prayer and/or silence. Bring more power to your fast by attending daily mass or some special service this week. Let your fast bring you closer to Jesus and his passion.

Prayer

Way back in one of my first blogs I made the suggestion that we try and read a gospel from start to finish. This would be a great time to fulfill that idea. If you have never done this before I suggest you start with Mark. Not only is it the shortest of all the gospels it is probably the easiest to read. I'm a slow reader and I finished the whole gospel in about 4 hours. Reading the gospel straight through is a great way to get the whole picture of Jesus's life. You get a complete picture of birth, life, and death. Of a journey not just of Jesus but of many other people as well. Real people come to life. Peter is one of my favorites, but there are so many more. Spend an hour or two and start reading, I really think you will be surprised at the results.

If you are afraid you don't have the time for the whole gospel at least read the passion narratives. Most are only 1 or 2 chapters long. Take the time to follow any footnotes that stick out to you. Pause to reflect on passages you don't understand. Take time to notice the differences in each of the 4 accounts and the similarities. If you have time, do a little research and dig deeper into the scriptures.

Another thing to do this week is to watch a video of the passion. Please make this a prayerful experience. I suggest a prayer before you begin and a time for reflection or discussion afterward. My favorite depiction is the movie “Jesus of Nazareth” but there are many others out there including the popular movie by Mel Gibson “The Passion of Christ”. Do you have small children? Try a veggie tales video, my daughter loves these. Be sure to watch with your children and be sure to discuss the video afterward. Remember this isn't just entertainment time it's prayer time too.

The last suggestion I have for prayer this week is to set aside some time for silent reflection. You may want to start with a brief prayer or a passage from scriptures but make sure the majority of your time is spent in silence. Listen to your heart and listen for God to speak to you. Let the silence permeate your being and give it enough time to settle into you. In a world that is constantly making noise, silence can be a welcome retreat but can also be a scary idea. I personally fled from any silence for years. It was only on a retreat that I experienced how joyful and wonderful a period of complete silence could be. No longer does it scare me but it calls to me to come back to it when I need peace and comfort. If you have some of these same thoughts about silence I encourage you to just give it a try, if even for just an hour. What have you got to lose?

Alms Giving

It is never too late to reach out and help someone in need. On Saturday night I received a very special gift from several special people. They took an hour or two out of there Saturday evening to share God's love with me. They gave me a gift I will never forget. They did something quite simple but they did it with great love. This was the last of several smacks God gave me to wake me out of my self induced pity party. Thank you to all the men who paid me a visit on Saturday night.

You have the love of God within you. Are you going to keep it for yourself or are you going to share it with others?

That is what alms giving is all about, sharing yourself with others.

Here are a few suggestions and concrete ways to reach out to others.

Invite your neighbor to church with you on Easter Sunday or any other services you will attend this week. The majority of Americans are Christians but how many will actually attend church this week. Maybe they are just waiting for you to ask them.

After Easter dinner send home your guests with your leftover food. Give it away. Or better yet bring it to someone who is elderly or home bound and is not able to go out for Easter.

Send that check you have been meaning to send out. I still haven't sent mine yet. I've been going to but just haven't gotten it done yet. Write it and mail it to your charity of choice. I would especially look to donate money this week to missionaries or others who work directly with the poor and hungry. You could also give to a local homeless shelter or food bank. If you live in the Dekalb area you could attend dinner at feed 'em soup and give a donation. They have experienced a very poor winter fund raising season and are having difficulty continuing their ministry of offering free meals each week. They have lots of volunteers willing to help but not near enough money to stay open. Here is a link to their website: http://www.feedemsoup.org/

If you fast on Good Friday add up the cost of the food you didn't eat and donate that money to a local charity or church.

Donate a little extra time to your church this week. Ask the pastor if they need any help cleaning the sanctuary or preparing for the Holy Week services. This is a very busy week at most churches. I'm sure your help and service would be greatly appreciated.

While fasting and prayer are mostly about ourselves and our relationship with God, alms giving gives us a special chance to reach out to others and share God's love and mercy. 

Another way to even go deeper in your Lenten service might be to find a way to work all three of these practices together into one act. Here is one idea but feel free to come up with your own. Got something good, please share it by posting a comment to this site.

The whole family could fast from TV for one night. First things first, everyone should turn off their phones/ipods/radios. Start your meal with a simple prayer and explain that after dinner the whole family will take an extra plate of food to someone else (perhaps a priest/minister or maybe an elderly friend). On the way to the other persons house the family should recite a common prayer everyone knows or each person could mention something they are thankful for and someone who has a special need. Then spend real time with your guest and be sure to pray with them. You have now worked all 3 practices of lent into one evening. Give it a try you might just change someones life. Maybe even your own.

Closing

I recently received a prayer card with a Lenten Morning Offering on it. I was so touched by this prayer and by the giver. I wish to share this simple prayer with you. It is a powerful way to start your day and I have found myself pausing throughout the day to reflect on individual parts of it. I also have looked at it when I get ready for bed to reflect back on my day. I hope you enjoy it and use it for yourself as well. It is a prayer of great love and service.

God Bless! Have a wonderfully blessed Holy Week!

Lord Jesus,

You lived and died for me.

Help me to keep that thought before me today so that whatever life

brings, whether it be success or failure, satisfaction or disappointment,

happiness or sorrow, I may offer it to you.

Through me, may everyone I meet this day see you, Lord,

feel your presence and experience your love.

Lord, I offer you today.

May I serve you by serving others in your name making all that I do a

gift of love and thanksgiving for all you have done for me.

Amen